turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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