after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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