woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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