bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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