remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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