Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Screwed.edu
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
