I wish I could teleport
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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