If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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