Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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