found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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