there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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