I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
