the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
