I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVEâ€
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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