Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
