You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i permit you to call me
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
