You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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