Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
