Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize