I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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