Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
