So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
