his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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