Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
