some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
