i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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