I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
