Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
