The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
