youre lurking in front of me
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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