I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
