I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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