Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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