Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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