make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize