Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
In America we eat man semen.
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I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Let's paint friendship bongs
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
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When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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