soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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