i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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