im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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