remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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