Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
