I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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