this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
