I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
