kristin has been a bad kristin
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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