Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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