I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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