I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
