matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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