So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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