Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
