Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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