direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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