I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
