Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
