She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
