we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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