boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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