Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
