that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you traded sex for a burrito?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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