bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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