Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Randomize
