he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
