There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
