Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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