dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
