A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
