Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
